Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret ~Ambrose Bierce
Like all couples you are going to have you disagreements and fights and while my husband and I where dating we experienced our first real fight. Like the quote said above when you speak out of angry and hurt you will say things that are hurtful and mean and in the end regret those words because once you say them you can't take them back and that is exactly what happened in my situation.
Since then I have learned that I need to walk away when I am that upset, rather it be with my husband, family members, colleagues because I will say something that I don't mean and I can't take it back. So, now I take the time to calm down and rationalize the situation before talking with them. Second, I try not to judge and automatically assume things and act like I know the answer to everything because I don't. I listen completely to them and give them chance to tell their side before responding. I need the facts before I can respond appropriately.
The 3R's helps because you want to show respect to each person by allowing each person to speak and respond back. This allows you to carry on a conversation without judging and assuming you have all the answers. The 3R's will also help you reach agreements or a compromise faster.
Walking away is something that I have found to be very effective. It allows on to take a step back and think about the situation. You post reminds me of another strategy that I use: I never write/respond to an email when I am upset because when angry, your words might be interpreted in a way that you did not mean to potray yourself.
ReplyDelete